Best Witty, Humorous and Sarcastic Quotes of Mae West

  1. A hard man is good to find.
  2. Sex is an emotion in motion.
  3. A man’s kiss is his signature.
  4. I’m a good woman for a bad man.
  5. I’ve been things and seen places.
  6. Flattery will get you everywhere.
  7. He who hesitates is a damned fool.
  8. I’ve been in more laps than a napkin.
  9. To err is human – but it feels divine.
  10. I’m single because I was born that way.
  11. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
  12. Look your best – who said love is blind?
  13. You are never too old to become younger!
  14. Keep a diary and one day it’ll keep you.
  15. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!
  16. The curve is more powerful than the sword.
  17. One more drink and I’ll be under the host.
  18. Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
  19. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
  20. Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
  21. I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself.
  22. When women go wrong, men go right after them.
  23. The score never interested me, only the game.
  24. A man in the house is worth two on the street.
  25. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
  26. I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.
  27. Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
  28. Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.
  29. I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.
  30. Love is what you make it and who you make it with.
  31. Love isn’t an emotion or an instinct – it’s an art.
  32. I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
  33. An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
  34. I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.
  35. I only have ‘yes’ men around me. Who needs ‘no’ men?
  36. Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
  37. I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.
  38. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
  39. I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.
  40. I have never loved a man as much as I have loved myself
  41. A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.
  42. When you get the personality, you don’t need the nudity.
  43. Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
  44. His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
  45. Let’s get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
  46. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
  47. When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.
  48. There are no good girls gone wrong – just bad girls found out.
  49. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
  50. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  51. There are no good girls gone wrong – just bad girls found out.
  52. Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I’d have to give it up.
  53. A good man is hard to find – but you’ll mostly find him asleep.
  54. I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.
  55. I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.
  56. I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.
  57. Never mind about the six feet. Let’s talk about the seven inches.
  58. Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.
  59. Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.
  60. I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
  61. Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.
  62. Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
  63. Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I’m tired.
  64. I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
  65. Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.
  66. It’s not the men in your life that matters, it’s the life in your men.
  67. No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.
  68. Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.
  69. Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.
  70. Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.
  71. She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
  72. Don’t cry for a man who’s left you- the next one may fall for your smile.
  73. A woman in love can’t be reasonable- or she probably wouldn’t be in love.
  74. We’re intellectual opposites. Well, I’m intellectual and you’re opposite.
  75. Don’t cry for a man who’s left you – the next one may fall for your smile.
  76. Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.
  77. All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
  78. I see you’re a man with ideals. I better be going before you’ve still got them.
  79. Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.
  80. It’s all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he’s perfect.
  81. Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.
  82. If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!
  83. I have found men who didn’t know how to kiss. I’ve always found time to teach them.
  84. I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.
  85. Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for years.
  86. I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.
  87. I wrote the story myself. It’s about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
  88. I like my clothes tight enough to show I’m a woman, but loose enough to show I’m a lady.
  89. I’ve always taken men just as I found ’em, and thank heavens I’ve been able to find ’em.
  90. Always remember honey. A good motto is: Take all you can get and give as little as possible.
  91. Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
  92. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
  93. Your real security is yourself. You know you can do it, and they can’t ever take that away from you.
  94. Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.
  95. You may admire a girl’s curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.
  96. For a long time I was ashamed of the way I lived. Did I reform, you ask? No. I’m not ashamed anymore.
  97. Love thy neighbor- and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
  98. Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you’re heading for a crash. What I’m against is blind flying.
  99. Marriage? I ain’t got time for a husband or child. All my life I’ve looked after myself as if I was my own child.
  100. It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.
  101. Good women are no fun. The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made was a flag.
  102. I’ve no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who’d do up the zipper on the back of your dress?
  103. Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

mae-westMary Jane “Mae” West (August 17, 1893 – November 22, 1980) was an American actress, singer, playwright, screenwriter and sex symbol whose entertainment career spanned seven decades. Known for her bawdy double entendres, West made a name for herself in vaudeville and on the stage in New York before moving to Hollywood to become a comedienne, actress and writer in the motion picture industry. In consideration of her contributions to American cinema, the American Film Institute named West 15th among the greatest female stars of all time. One of the more controversial movie stars of her day, West encountered many problems, including censorship. When her cinematic career ended, she continued to perform on stage, in Las Vegas, in the United Kingdom, on radio and television, and recorded rock and roll albums. (from Wikipedia)

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